PLEASE READ THESE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: What is this Friday night event?
RSO/MM: This is a PARTY for our extended friends, associates, students and clients that is celebrating our forthcoming wedding (which is on Monday).
Q: So this is not the wedding?
RSO/MM: No! That’s Monday. This is the Friday night party for our extended friends, associ—
Q: Got it. So should I come?
RSO/MM: YOU MUST COME. There is no other choice.
(Q: Hey over here — I’m coming to the wedding Monday. Do I have to come to this too?
RSO/MM: You don’t HAVE to, but we WANT YOU TO! This will be so fun!!!)
Q: Back to me. I don’t really know you that well. Pretty sure you don’t remember my name even though we’ve met like, three times.
RSO/MM: Please come! It will be nice meeting you again for the first time!
Q: Are you sure?
RSO/MM: Yes! The point of this party is to celebrate our forthcoming nuptials with YOU!
Q: Okay fine I’m coming. Can I bring my boyfriend?
RSO/MM: Yes, bring your boyfriend! The more the merrier!
Q: Can I bring my friends? You don’t really know them.
RSO/MM: Yes! Bring your friends?
Q: Can I bring my dog?
RSO/MM: Why wouldn’t you?
Q: My mother?
RSO/MM: If she’s alive!
Q: Um. So are you paying for this?
RSO/MM: No, your mom is. That’s why she’s coming / you inherited so much.
Q: Really tho, are you paying for this?
Q: So, like, do I have to get you, like, a gift?
RSO/MM: ROFL! No, of course you don’t HAVE to get us a gift! Ha ha! But http://www.honeyfund.com/wedding/MattAndRyan
Q: What if I just want to buy you a drink?
RSO/MM: Please don’t! We have a very hard, I mean, challenging, I mean, emotional weekend ahead of us and we should be as sober as humanly possible. BUT! Please buy a member of our bridal party a drink in our honor! We would LOVE that! (Bridal party Starring Emily Clark, Tony Asaro, Michael Lowney, Maggie Bender, Nick McCarvel, Carson Murphy, Brett Ryback, Daniel Oliver and featuring Lindsay Mendez as The Officiant)
Q: So like we can’t even buy you a shot?
RSO/MM: Seriously. No.
Q: This doesn’t seem fun.
RSO/MM: You know what, you don’t seem fun.
Q: Fine, then I’m not coming.
RSO/MM: NO NO PLEASE COME